So I come home from work tonight and greet my wife and daughter at the door. It’s almost 5:30 and we are going to be late for supper in the dining hall with the students (pizza night!), so I rush down the hallway to get out of the tie that has been cutting off the flow of oxygen to my brain all day. I then discover that another flow has not been cut off as my socks gush into the shag carpet in the hallway. What’s that sound?? Water running??

I open the bathroom door and the entire floor is covered in dihydrogen monoxide pouring out of a crack on the side of our circa 1970 harvest gold toilet.

Scrambling to the basement to turn off the valve, I wade through a small lake that is coming through the ceiling in about 5 places. With the water shut off it is time to start cleaning up the mess before any real damage is done. Thankfully, it hadn’t been flowing long, so nothing really got wrecked except a dozen rolls of toilet paper in the closet. The real quicker picker uppper..

We made a call to the boss, who not only does accounting but apparently knows how to replace a toilet. While I used a shop vac to try to get water out of the carpet and clean up the lake in the basement, Evan went to town to purchase a new throne for me. Naomi fled for high ground with our daughter, who by this time was pretty disturbed with all the commotion.

A couple of hours later the carpet is still drying out but I have learned a few things about replacing toilets from Evan. We still have no idea what caused the side of that thing to suddenly crack, but we are thankful that it didn’t happen while we were out or during the night..

Glistening and Pristine!