Towards a Pizza Eaters Code of Conduct

Here is a familiar scenario ::
Five hungry people decide to get pizza. Excellent choice. But a problem arises when it is revealed that two of the five want to have the abomination pizza: Hawaiian. So eventually a compromise is made. For the five people two pizzas will be ordered, one good one and one Hawaiian.

The two Hawaiian pizza lovers (HPL for short) will dutifully take a few slices of their Hawaiian pizza. Meanwhile, the other three good pizza lovers (GPL) look in dismay over their slice at this little pizza that has to be divided by the three of them.

Then it happens.. the HPLs decide that they also want to partake of the good pizza too (it is good after all) and take a slice or two each. The GPLs are distraught and hungry over this grave injustice. The end result of this sad situation: two full Hawaiian pizza lovers, three other hungry people, and four slices of unwanted leftover Hawaiian pizza.

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This is exactly the situation where a Pizza Eaters Code of Conduct is needed. What I propose is this:

Should you be in a group and want a lesser pizza (be it Hawaiian, vegetarian, or really anything not loaded with cheese and meat) you must then consume only that lesser pizza. Once the others have sat back and loosened their belts you may then abandon your lesser pizza and proceed to eat a slice of the greater pizza (Meat Lovers, Canadian, etc.).

Your comments are welcome. Oh, and Stephen Harper, if you have dropped by again, please talk to your guys about bringing this into law.

3 thoughts on “Towards a Pizza Eaters Code of Conduct

  1. Perhaps you should start rallying for municipal enactment first. I think this should be on a plaque in every pizza place!

  2. I also propose that all Hawaiian pizzas ordered must also add bacon in order for the GPL’s to be able to stomach them if they do indeed run out of the good pizza.

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