“…He made the stars also.” Genesis 1:16
It is written almost as an afterthought of the Creation account in Genesis, but when you consider the enormity of what these few words entail.. well, as my dad would have said.. “It boggles my mind.”
You are small – part ii
Naomi and I have both drawn up our own lists of names for the newest Johnstone. Tonight we compared the lists and crossed a few off of each others lists (mostly mine). The debate begins. If it gets heated enough, it may induce labor.
What name would you suggest for the Johnstone that is about to enter this world?
I don’t usually use this blog to pass on things that are forwarded to me, but this was too timely and too applicable to me to pass up. I wish I could take credit for it, but it has been around the internet a few times. So here it is: Gift Wrapping Tips for Men.
This is the time of year when we think back to the very
first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men — Gaspar,
Balthazar, and Herb — went to see the baby Jesus and,
according to the Book of Matthew, “presented unto Him gifts;
gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”These are simple words, but if we analyze them carefully, we
discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological
fact: there is no mention of wrapping paper.If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said
so: “And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of
paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty
the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but
Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, ‘Holdeth it! That is
nice paper! Saveth it for next year!’ And Joseph did rolleth
his eyeballs. And the baby Jesus was more interested in the
paper than the frankincense.”But these words do not appear in the Bible, which means that
the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is
because the people giving those gifts had two important
characteristics:1. They were wise.
2. They were men.Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the
point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can
tear it off. This is not just my opinion, this is a
scientific fact based on a statistical survey of two guys I
know. One is Rob, who said the only time he ever wraps a
gift is “if it’s such a poor gift that I don’t want to be
there when the person opens it.” The other is Gene, who told
me he does wrap gifts, but as a matter of principle never
takes more than 15 seconds per gift. “No one ever had to
wonder which presents daddy wrapped at Christmas,” Gene
said. “They were the ones that looked like enormous
spitballs.”I also wrap gifts, but because of some defect in my motor
skills, I can never completely wrap them. I can take a gift
the size of a deck of cards and put it the exact center of a
piece of wrapping paper the size of a regulation volleyball
court, but when I am done folding and taping, you can still
see a sector of the gift peeking out. (Sometimes I
camouflage this sector with a marking pen.) If I had been an
ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of
the Pharaoh’s body would be covered only by Scotch tape.On the other hand, if you give my wife a 12-inch square of
wrapping paper, she can wrap a C-130 cargo plane. My wife,
like many women, actually likes wrapping things. If she
gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the
batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a
symptom of mental illness. If it were possible, my wife
would wrap each individual volt.My point is that gift-wrapping is one of those skills like
having babies that come more naturally to women than to men.
That is why today I am presenting:Gift Wrapping Tips for Men:
* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If,
when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you
recognizes it, you can claim that it’s myrrh.* The editors of Woman’s Day magazine recently ran an item
on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design
on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped
in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must
be smoking crack. If you’re giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip
the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one
of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive
visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on
Christmas morning:YOUR WIFE: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?
YOU: It’s a gift! See? It has a bow!
YOUR WIFE (peering into the trash bag): It’s a leaf blower.
YOU: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!
YOUR WIFE: I want a divorce.
YOU: I also got you some myrrh.In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what
you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during
this very special time of year, is that you save the
receipt.
Ellie likes wearing our footwear, especially her mom’s as they are smaller and lighter. The other day, however, she wanted to put on her mom’s winter boots, which became hip waders on Ellie. She was only able to take one step before she fell over..
Any day now, I (Naomi) will start into the long-awaited labour. However, this labour experience will be a bit different than what I experienced with Ellie. With Ellie, the room was filled with nurses and the obstetrician. This time, I will be attended by two midwives.
When we tell people that I will give birth with the help of midwives instead of a doctor, I usually get some strange looks and interesting questions, which tell me that people don’t really understand much about the job of the modern midwife. I think that most people envision a lady pushing through the woods with her blankets, boiled water and herbs, ready to deliver quadruplets in the kitchen at an old farmstead.
I must admit that when the idea was first presented to me, I was skeptical. To be honest, there really wasn’t really any other option at the time – there was only one obstetrician available for a population of about 40,000. Needless to say, it was hard to get in to see him. So it was strongly encouraged that I go with a midwife instead. When I went for my first appointment, I was half-expecting a hippie-looking woman to meet me with a mug of bark tea and try to talk me into a home birth without any medication or interventions. Instead, I met with women who were very professional and knowledgeable in their expertise – pregnancy, childbirth, and initial infant care. I have appreciated the fact that I rarely have to wait more than 5 minutes for an appointment and then I have between 45 min. – 1 hour to discuss things with them if I feel the need. Even during the many uncertain months of this difficult pregnancy, I never doubted their competency or felt they were too relaxed in their care of me. They are very thorough and have been quick to order tests, medications, and consultations with the obstetrician as they’ve seen the need. In fact, I would say they’ve been much more thorough and careful in overseeing my care than I ever had in my pregnancy with Ellie. And I have yet to be offered bark tea.
So, any day now, I will head to the hospital, where my midwife, whom I’ve gotten to know fairly well these last 7 months, as well as another midwife, will meet me. I will have almost any medication and intervention available to me, plus the knowledge that these women know me quite well and will be very capable of helping me through those long hours. After the baby comes, they will look after me and the baby’s care for 6 weeks, including house calls if necessary. Up to this point, I’m so thankful that I overcame my initial trepidation and chose this route. We can’t wait for the day we can let you know how it went!
Naomi